I can't say I didn't think about this whole mess. It's just that I tried NOT to. I teach the Gospel Doctrine class for our Sunday School -- that's the class for the adults. We're studying the Old Testament and today was a lesson on the Wisdom of Solomon and the Proverbs. That kept my mind occupied all morning. I'm also the organist, so I kept busy all afternoon. Now I'm home and it's hard to keep the thoughts from crowding in.
My lesson on Solomon covered this verse from Ecclesiastes 1:18:
For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.
And also Proverbs 3:11 and Hebrews 12:6:
My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord ; neither be weary of his correction:
For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth , and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
I guess I'm both being chastened and developing wisdom.
An interesting thing happened at church. I was paying my tithing in cash, putting several $20 bills into the tithing envelope. Someone I know well noticed and asked why I didn't just write out a check.
You know, I don't have any pride leftl. I don't tell everything that's going on with me but I tell it like it is. I told him, honestly. "I pay cash because I've bounced a tithing check before and I never want to do that again, and my finances are tight enough that I could forget something, so I don't take any chances with my tithing any more. I usually get a money order but didn't, today, so it's cash. So there."
He was shocked. I'm fairly well-known in our church and have been in ward leadership. He sat down to have a longer chat and I was pretty straight with him. (Although I didn't say a word about this foreclosure stuff).
I've made mistakes but it's not that I'm not good with my money. In fact, I have a very nice income and still have my job. I told him I feel that everything that I'm going through is not only to build my own faith and character but to help me help others. For instance, a family member was coming to me for help with very expensive (as in, $900 expensive) prescription drugs. I helped once and immediately searched out how to get them onto drug assistance programs from the pharmaceuticals. Later, when I was Relief Society president, we used that information to helps lots of people get their meds. So, see, what I go through helps others.
I told him how my hot water heater broke a couple of years ago. I wanted so badly to get out of debt and to pay an honest tithing, so I said, I'm not going to get it fixed until I've hit those goals. For eight months, I went to the gym every day to take a shower.
My washer and dryer broke down while I was Relief Society president. As busy as I was with my day job and with welfare and Relief Society, I did my laundry at the laundromat. I know lots of people use the laundromat but you wouldn't expect someone with my employment to do it. I could have bought appliances on any paycheck, it's just that I wanted the best and I wanted to pay cash and I wanted to do it only after certain financial goals were met. I saved up and got the washer and dryer of my dreams early last year.
People should know these things. Sacrifice. Make do or go without. Save up. Buy it on cash, not credit.
With the people in need around me, I figure it helps them to see that if I could go to the gym for showers or go to the laundromat, they can, too. Quit trying to let everybody think you have all this money when you don't.